Tuesday, September 27, 2005

"I don't want to be a pussy...I want to bowl!"

I have now decided, fuck it, the layout is just going to have to do. I would like to just start with the damn blogging already!

So much to discuss, explain, rationalize. First, before I'm sued for copyright infringement, the above quote was taken from Mr. Angry Bowler last night as he bowled in an insomnia-and-medication-induced haze.

But how can you let a quote like that go unpublished now, really? The world must know, my friend.

And since I don't even begin to know how to bowl, and never really do, it's obvious I didn't come up with it. But enough about bowling, for chrissakes.

First, a few words of introduction.

(Mom, if you haven't keeled over from my saying fuck so soon, well, know that there will be some profanity from time-to-time 'cause I only hold it in when I'm around YOU...and maybe the in-laws. Except that time when I was about 12 and dropped the entire bowl of guacamole on your pearl gray carpet. Ah yes, the look on your face when said expletive was delivered to an entire house full of dinner party guests. Good times.

But I do honor you with the title...the yespleasenothankyoudropdead part. No, not the masthead. Look up at the top. The part where you type in the web site you want to see. Mom! Up above, where the big long line full of letters in the white box is! Oh forget it. I'll call you.)

You see, wishy-washiness was not permitted when I was growing up. Have an opinion. State it. Own it. If you DARED to reply, "Sure, yeah, whatever" to either "Would you like some ice cream?" or "Is it ok if I shave your head?", Mom's shorthand was to remind you "Yes please! No thank you! Drop dead!". We quickly learned that you better say one of the above. At least even "Drop dead" was an answer that showed some balls. Even if it got you grounded.

So when I once told this story to the hubby (dubbed by last night's bowling cognoscenti and now to be known as Mr. Blogger or "MB") , he immediately said, "Ohhhhh! So THAT'S why you get so annoyed when I say "sure"!!" And I didn't even realize I did. Ladies and gentlemen...my mother's legacy, living on in a pissed off wife.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree, blog away! and i like the counter. it'll give you a sense of validation too. ps. check your email. -mle

1:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh my god you WILL be the next dooce! you freakin' kill me! -mle

3:15 PM  
Anonymous tk said...

way cool... love it! can't wait for more!

4:12 PM  
Blogger G/\R*E said...

This is good stuff! I laughed so hard when I saw the "quote" from the other night. Maybe you should change your profession and be like dooce. That would be cool.

8:45 PM  
Anonymous Mother-in-law said...

You've been holding back on the swearing around the in-laws? And there was me doing the same when you were around! Well, fuck that! From now on let's just let it rip whenever we feel the need! ;-D

I'll check in every day, so make sure the grammer remains correct. Marks will be given!

Love you xxx

1:06 AM  
Anonymous Qiana said...

Your blog makes me miss you even more. It's just like your back at the office. I can't wait for you to use your famous quote..."Well, fuck me in the ass." Are you going to add Gary's Quote of the Day to your blog? You are so popular. You're gonna make me wet my pants one of these days.

1:55 PM  

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