Where I learned that the blogosphere can bring both approval AND derision

Oh boy...I got my first anonymous hate mail today! Well, semi-anonymous since she gave a name, but nowhere I could reply.

I deleted it because:

A. I can.

B. I thought that there was no reasoning with anyone who wants to debate that suicide is a reasonable solution for some.

You know Lissa, my first impulse was to go off on you (and you were sorely mistaken to have called me "uneducated"...trust me, you do not want to get into a battle of wits with me). I could give you a point-by-point rebuttal to your post, and I could defend myself, my opinions and my own history with the topic.

But then I re-read what you had to say.

You seem to be in trouble. And you quite obviously feel very strongly about everything you mentioned. I was initially more bothered that you stated "one such as yourself might have a little more compassion than that", but when I was able to step away from my own ego-bruising, it occurred to me that you are the one who is in need of this compassion.

Now, the fact that I linked to other "boring" blogs, IS my prerogative. I am entitled to be as snarky as I like in this arena. If you have a blog, you are welcome to do the same. If people don't like it, they don't have to read it.

But, I AM worried about you. And if you knew me, you would know that I do care very deeply and empathically about others' feelings.

I don't know you, but I have figured out that you're British (or at least I'm fairly certain). I've been in those cold, dreary surroundings at this time of year, and know that could get anyone down. It gets dark at 2:00 in the afternoon for crissakes.

But I am going to be very adamant when I tell you this: You CAN stand up and fight like hell. And it is NOT arrogant for me to say so. This has nothing to do with my own arrogance. To the contrary, it has to do with my belief in the strength you have yet to uncover.

And I can say this, because I have SEEN it, over and over again. I have had friends in the hospital that were so severely anorexic they weren't even allowed to walk anywhere. As I pushed their wheelchair, we talked about what would happen when we got out of here, and could we really get out of this horrible, all-encompassing abyss.

I would never be so naive as to say that everybody made it. But a lot of us did. I'm living proof. It took far too long, and I had to KEEP AT IT, but I'm here. On the other side.

I don't even care if you think I'm being too optimistic. You were right when you said that life is a hurdle. In fact, I can't agree strongly enough. But what you can't see and I can is this...it IS possible to get over.

So instead of being offended or hurt, as I am wont to do, I will look at the comments as YOUR small step forward. You reached out, whether you realize it or not. By telling others how you feel, even cloaked in anonymity, you're actually looking for someone to care.

I said that suicide was a coward's way out because I think it is FAR more difficult, and takes far more guts to fight. But there are medical professionals with meds and therapy out there who will be the ones to truly help you with that. LOOK THEM UP.

In the meantime, Lissa, at least you can be assured that I heard you. If you click on the envelope at the end of the post, you can send me an email. Or you can just post your comments in the usual way.

But be confident that even if you rant and rave at me, I'll take that as a good sign. At least you're still fighting.