Wednesday, October 26, 2005

What I Did on Tuesday Night...by Brooke Blogger


1. Made like a good little wifey-poo.

When Mr. Blogger came home, not only had I cleaned up in the kitchen and done all the dishes, which were plentiful, but I made cookies! Then, I made a little cream cheese and salsa appetizer for MB to nosh on while we tried to figure out what to eat for dinner. It's SCARY how good I'm getting at all this domesticity. OK, I hardly greeted him at the door in plastic wrap, but I only do THAT at the spa.

2. Watched The Biggest Loser...While Eating Spaghetti

It's very hard to concentrate on your carb rich food, while the people on TV are doing five hours of cardio a day. I mean, did you SEE what Pete looked like after he'd gone home!! I felt so bad that he was kicked off, because he may have won it all had he continued. MB and I just watched with mouths agape at the"After" pic. He lost 137 pounds people!!!!!!

I wish I could do that. OK, back to my spaghetti...and where are those cookies!

3. Came THIS Close to Throttling My Husband

Now I know MB is a trusting sort, and does maintain a normally delightful innocence about people...BUT ARE YOU CRAZY???

The doorbell had rung and I, being in my jammies already, ran to the bedroom to hide so he could deal with it. Mind you it's nighttime.

I heard him chatting away with two kids at the door, who I assumed were selling something, and I waited for him to do the "thank you, but no" speech I had taught him years ago. I'm not a bitch, but I just don't buy things being sold door-to-door. There are too many scams going on out there.

So what does he do, this accommodating husband of mine? HE LETS THEM IN THE HOUSE. I can hear that they're all sitting around chatting and I am about to scream bloody murder if things take a turn. I also hear them remarking on what a great TV we have. Oh yay!

I'm FREAKING out.

I have to resort to calling for him, even though I'm wondering what they might make off with while he's away. DID YOUR PARENTS' RECENT BREAK-IN TEACH YOU NOTHING??

And did I mention...I'm FREAKING out.

While exhibiting some truly new forms of profanity, I convince him he is insane, and to tell them GOODBYE. He sulks back to the family room, tells them no go on the donation to the local high school football team, and off they go.

(I of course called that school's Athletics Department this morning and surprise, surprise, THEY HAVE NO SUCH FUND RAISING.

I am convinced that our home has now been "cased" for future robberies and/or we're getting seriously egged on Halloween. I'll take the latter, thank you. At least we have an alarm and a very advanced security system from the previous owners. But that doesn't stop me from closing every blind and curtain in the house...and there are a LOT of them.

3. Stopped speaking to husband

After crying my eyes out and using yet even MORE previously unheard of ways of swearing, I just freeze him out. I'm so mad I can't think straight and that's never a good place to be while yelling at your husband.

Well, up until the part where we needed to stick with the every-other-day PROCEDURE schedule. I'm not letting any hoodlums stop ME from having a kid, dammit.

But Mr. Blogger is no longer allowed to answer the door.

6 Comments:

Blogger emily said...

oh my god, i can SO see him doing that! that freaking kills me. and i'm not surprised there's no fundraiser because it was NIGHT TIME. ooohhh... your poor naive, but adorable, husband.

i hated that pete was voted off. he without a doubt would have won had he stayed. he lost more than a me! they shoulda sent home the guy who said, "send me home". that guys not going to win. he thinks he's already met success and is done with the program just because he's under 300. he's the type of guy who's going to go home, gain back to a weight of 300 and still feel successful. then again, that's probably why pete was voted off. he won. i bet you ANYTHING at the finale pete will have lost more than the biggest loser.

3:06 PM  
Blogger emily said...

sorry typo.

Biggest Loser Dinner:

Family Size 3 Cheese Tortellini
Homemade 4 Cheese Sauce (all milk and butter!)
Rolls
Rocky Road Ice Cream

As guilty as I felt, I have to say my mental health was feeling damn good!

3:17 PM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Boy, you're lucky you're naturally skinny.

3:20 PM  
Anonymous KG said...

oh, mb... you are just as bad as i am.... we are WAY too trusting of regular folks, but YIKES! we need to be much more careful, now that we are grown-ups!

anyways, glad that you still "got some" (oops, sorry, brookie did not mean to be soooo crass when u were soooo annoyed)...

love and kisses, XOXO

4:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You do realize, I assume, that the reason you love this man so much is that he is the way he is, puppy-dog qualities at top of list.

Wish I could have some of those cookies. The famous Brooke's chocolate chip ones?

4:56 PM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

OMG! He's sooooo TOO nice! :-(

Sorry, Brooke! That's NOT something he gets from me! I can be really horrible to people who come to the door >>:-(

(Except I then feel really bad about it afterwards, and think perhaps they were genuine and I'm just a bitch! Maybe he does get it from me! Oooops!)

But on the whole, I guess I'd rather trust that the world is a good place and that people are nice, rather than the opposite. It just means you get hurt more, and you risk getting cheated more, and losing more, all of which MB knows well :*-(

I think I'd still rather be that way, and I'm glad he is that way, too. Just LOOK AFTER HIM, Brooke! {sigh}

xxxxxx

1:52 AM  

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