In praise of emotional women

Is it POSSIBLE to get through an entire episode of Oprah these days, WITHOUT CRYING?!?! I ask because I'm looking for verification that I'm not a pitiable and pathetic blubbering fool, just your average Oprah-watcher. Perhaps I'm both.

But to make things worse, I even cry now at Ellen! Lately she's given away a car to a needy mom of five, a full set of new kitchen appliances to a little 10-year-old chef, etc. etc. etc. I don't know why I find this tear-worthy, but I can't help it! (Can you imagine what I'll be like when I'm pregnant...I'll just be banned from watching daytime TV in general!)

Thank god Ellen makes me laugh though, or I'd just give up. (And I just noticed that I have already used FIVE exclamation points, and I'm only on my third paragraph. When did I become such a CHICK?)

Yesterday alone, I bawled through almost the entire episode of Oprah. I swear, if anyone on the show starts crying, THAT'S IT. I'm gone. I not only lost it over the family that got a new house, I was whimpering while watching the first grade class at Disneyland.

"Oh they just look so haaaaaaappppyyyyyyy...." sob sob sob.

Is there something intrinsically wrong with me? Yes, yes there is.

My name is Brooke and I am an emotionaholic. (Hi Brooke....)

I once had a boyfriend who used to get SO MAD at me if I ever dared cry, he literally told me I was a freak. Of course, that only served to make me more upset, which led to the waterworks, which led to more fights...

Thank you dear friends, for telling me to dump his ass.

Unfortunately though, that relationship scarred me somewhat to the point where I was deathly afraid of ever being anything less than peppy around most men. Then I realized that's hard to maintain. ESPECIALLY for me.

Mr. Blogger loves me just the way I am though. But then again, he's a "feeler" himself. (You should have seen us watching The Notebook.) We are sooo going to be the old couple still madly in love with each other in the old folks home.

I know I'm not the only woman who gets choked up at both the joy of the new baby panda (and if you don't think that is the cutest thing you've ever seen, well, then I don't know what is), or the tragedy of the Jordanian bomb killing the fathers at a wedding. It's ALL difficult for me to deal with at times.

I don't judge anyone who isn't emotional, far from it. I often wished I could be so. Sometimes it's a pretty huge burden to wonder exactly when you're going to erupt. You read too much into EVERYTHING, you second guess yourself often, and you are so conscious of the feelings of those around you that if anyone ELSE is upset, you feel you somehow caused it.

Every time I blog, I even wonder if I've offended anyone or if anything I've said could be misconstrued. It's a freakin' nightmare at times, people!

But then I realize that there are many women in my life who are the same...M-I-L, Kona Girl, sometimes my Mom (although she's toughened up a bit... in a good way), and probably just about all the Hispanic women on both sides of my family. Except my late grandmother...ooo boy...was she ever NOT mushy-gushy. Except with her animals.

And I'm often reminding Kona Girl especially, that being emotional means not only being weepy, or sensitive, but loyal and loving.

We aren't all bad. Emotional women are capable of writing books reminding others to be kind. Emotional women are excellent mothers. Emotional women can change the world.

Just look at Oprah.

P.S. We're going out of town tonight to stay with family, meet a friend for brunch and then go to the UCLA game Saturday afternoon. (Woo hoo...stuff to do!) We'll be back pretty late Saturday night, so I may not have a chance to blog. Try to contain your emotions.