Thursday, November 17, 2005

Here he comes to save the daaaaaaaay!

Well Mr. Blogger had an interesting conversation with a neighbor this morning as he walked out to The Van (which henceforth shall be capitalized as it seems to have taken on GREAT SIGNIFICANCE). I will now replay, with quotes completely based on hearsay.

"Hey, is that your van?"

"Yeah." (Sheepishly wonders...what now?)

"Well I was at the Homeowners Association meeting and I heard them bring it up. Are they giving you trouble about it?"

"Unfortunately yes."

"We had the same problem with a truck I used to have. Some old guy kept writing letters. I'm not sure which house he lives in, but he would NOT let it go. We finally just got a cover for the truck and that seemed to appease him. Something about the wording on the side bothered him." (Ah ha! Mr. Blogger notes to self that he will call Brooke and say he was right about it being old people with nothing better to do!)

"You have to be kidding!"

"Nope. Hope it works out for you."


So now we have to get a cover??? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, may I present to you the oh-so-offensive van in question.

Does this look like some blight on the state of our peaceful, well-kept neighborhood? Is it an eyesore along the lines of a moving advertisement for something to which our women and children should not be exposed? Is it an offensive sore thumb, sticking out among the perfectly manicured other fingers on the road?

NO IT IS NOT! I daresay it provides a valuable service to all mankind. And when YOU, Oldie Von Oldstrom, are in need of a defibrillator with which to restart your FREAKIN' EVIL HEART, guess what?

MY HUSBAND HAS A GAJILLION OF 'EM! And he WILL be the one you call. Because HE is the one who trains others how to use them! And he was an EMT in London, so he knows LOTS and LOTS of stuff! Ask his wife and mother-in-law...they tend to go to him before any doctors nowadays!

And he's JUST THAT NICE A GUY, that he'll forget about how you made his life and his livelihood hell for a while. His wife however, well, she may remember.

And you really, REALLY don't want to mess with her.


Blogger emily said...

That is so funny. And so true. MB would totally without a second thought help someone and never mention it, or anything else, again. Whereas I'm not so sure I could say the same for you... or me.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Brooke said...

Oh I'd help him...I'd just make sure he signed a document stating he'd never write another letter to the Board...EVER!

11:44 AM  
Anonymous mom said...

Let's see, on the positive side, you're getting to know your neighbors. On the other hand, it sucks. So what came of the letter/discussion at the HOA meeting? And no matter what, I'm sure I can trust you to give 'em hell if they deserve it.

As to MB, I trust him more than I do my doctor, optometrist, trainer, podiatrist, etc.

12:18 PM  
Anonymous m-i-l said...

That's my boy! {{Pride}}

But I'm also sooooo glad he's got you 'fighting on his side', Brooke ;-D

1:32 PM  
Blogger sit-slake-stir said...

Oh my god. That's the most petty fight I have ever witnessed, excluding the one I had in kindergarten over an orange juice and a finger bun.

Give 'em hell, Brooke. Storm into the meeting and show them who's boss!

With your vocabulary and wit, you'd totally wear the pants in that meeting!

Good luk with getting everything sorted out!


P.S: I think you should spray The Van in fluro pink and yellow stripes. Just because.

6:57 PM  
Blogger John said...

Does the van look like a blight on your neighborhood?


Frankly, yes. It looks like the van that they used in Silence of the Lambs when they parked outside Buffalo Bill's house.

So its not that they don't like the van. They are just uncomfortable with you and MB wearing the skin of local plus sized women.


12:16 AM  
Anonymous m-i-l said...

My guess is they are just snobs! >>:-)

They're probably people like my uncle - the man who sent his sons to Eton rather than Harrow to school, because "'Tradespeople' send their sons to Harrow!" ;-D

(If you don't get it, look up 'Eton' and 'Harrow'! Oh, and BTW, Winston Churchill went to Harrow.)

1:26 AM  
Anonymous KG said...

OMG! MB is the coolest, nicest guy on the planet!.... except he might be tied with HHC for that title, now....

anyways... YOU GO, you 2....this is a ridiculous WASTE of your time and energy! at least you guys can joke about it:P

your glass is always half full, and for that you should be thrilled, you will be laughing and howling about the "van" issues in no time....

love and aloha XO

6:27 AM  

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