Sunday, April 30, 2006

Missing


Jeez...I can't believe it's been three whole weeks. But thanks for checking in on me, and your comments wondering where I'd gone were very touching. ;)

Truth is...I was bumming. We were semi-all set to go on the IVF thing when the financing kinda fell through at the 11th hour and I was pretty devastated. I spent a whole day off work just crying and alternately vomiting. If that tells you anything.

It's no one's fault really. And I feel selfish for being so wrapped up in my own issues, but it just felt so disappointing to have worked up to it, only to have the rug pulled out from under us. I'm only human.

And it took me some time, but I finally had to let go. I had to tell myself that it's just a detour and it WILL happen eventually. This was all just out of our hands for now. It obviously wasn't meant to happen so quickly. Or something equally mature-sounding.

But that was a while ago, and I haven't had the energy/time/motivation to feel I had anything of interest to say since.

Then I got to meet Teebs. Mr. Blogger and I met her for dinner while she was here on business and I can't tell you how lovely she is. But then you already knew that. It was wonderful to meet her in person and finally talk about all the things we'd emailed or blogged about. I wondered if I overwhelmed her with my talkativeness (I can't help it), and I was so worried about what she would possibly write about our meeting...I needn't have worried. She is the epitome of grace.

Speaking of MB, he's in London for a few days visiting his kids and as many relatives/friends as he can fit in. So I've been really down since he left because:

A. I couldn't get the time off work (aka...I was too afraid to ask) to join him

B. Our anniversary was on the 29th

C. I just don't sleep well when he's not there

I snuck an anniversary card in his shaving kit, but it wasn't the same. We did go to Seattle and Vancouver last weekend for a wedding, so we said we'd count that as our weekend away, but I couldn't help but be sad we weren't together on the day.

Not that I wanted to take him away from where he is (his son's birthday was this weekend and from all reports everyone had a great time celebrating). I just wish I had been there with him.

In the meantime, he's bringing me home Jaffa Cakes and Marmite Crisps. What more could a gal want?

Except her husband to share them with.

21 Comments:

Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Ouch. I'm sorry. You've had so many disappointments.

I hope everything pulls together for you soon and that you can join Mr. B on his next trip to the UK.

I followed your MIL's advice and visited Bath for spring break. Loved it!

10:15 PM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

So sorry for your set-back, and the distress it caused you - but you know it is only a set-back! Things will work out for you in the end. Just think of this pause in your plans as an extra chance to get yourself really fit and prepared!

We are sorry to have taken Mr Blogger away on your anniversary :-( But next time he comes over you WILL come with him! The children asked for you, as always, and will not accept any further delays! ;-D

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Mom said...

Your M-I-L is the best! She sent me photos taken this weekend of the family.

You're right: you can't help but talk. You're sixth generation talkative.

So great that you and Teebs were able to get together. She sounds like someone worthwhile knowning.

On all matters: patience.

1:15 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

I'm so sorry about the setback, Brooke. I've been wondering where you were lately, but didn't want to intrude on your world. I hope MB gets back soon.

6:18 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

I'm so glad you're back. I miseed you!!

Thank you for always being so kind and fab. The universe owes you some. I'm sure this will all work out.

6:51 AM  
Blogger #1 Dancer said...

Brooke! So glad you're back.We missed you!
Sorry about your bum week. I agree, nothing's the same when Husband's away and especially on your anniversary! You're a wonderful, sweet wife for letting him leave you during such a tough time.
Thanks also for the comment! We're very excited!!

7:38 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

I missed you!! And I was worried... I'm sorry things haven't been going well for you lately. Take heart. It'll get better soon.

8:59 AM  
Blogger little sister said...

te amo to you, chica!

real life is getting so hectic we can't even blog like we wanna, but your blog shows that you're such a sweetheart that I think abuot you often and I hope your life is good. You're a sweetig.

I'm sending good thoughts your way that the IVF works well for you and you have your own little baby blogger very soon :) You deserve it!

*hugs*
lil sis

9:50 AM  
Blogger little sister said...

please disregard my typos...you're a SWEETIE not a sweetig ;)

9:51 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Sorry your financing fell through. It'll happen soon, though, I can feel it!

I LOOOOOOVVEE Jaffa Cakes, but luckily for me the local grocery store stocks them. Delicious.

11:21 AM  
Blogger aka Brandi said...

Hey. I don't have anything super-inspirational to say, but I was SO glad to see you commented on me this mornng. I was all, "Brooke is BACK!" And then I smiled.

I was getting worried.

11:27 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Welcome back, Brooke!

So sorry about the setback. And, yes, that's all it is.

What a great family you have! Mr. Blogger seems like a wonderfully sweet husband, and both your mom and your MIL read and comment regularly! I'm so glad you are surrounded by such loving people.

3:14 PM  
Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

I missed you! I was going to email and then thought, if she had anything to say, she'd blog. I didn't want to bother you. But I was so glad to see you back on my comment page.

So sorry to hear about your recent setback. Everything happens in its own time. Which is frustrating, but there it is.

I'm sure MB missed you too. It's hard to be apart on special days.

10:40 PM  
Anonymous TB said...

I'm so sorry about the continued frustrations and set backs. I know how difficult it is, and then to be by yourself, it makes you want to crawl under the covers and stay there. I hope you're feeling a little better.

I thought you were just the right amount of talkative, since I am somewhat shy. It was the perfect match. And thanks for saying such kind things about me :o)

5:49 AM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I'm glad you posted. I was wondering how you were doing. Hang in there. I hope the next time MB goes abroad, you can go with him.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

I've been thinking about you, and hoping everything was going well. I am sorry to hear about the financing disappointments, but I'm glad you are hopeful that this is a temporary setback -- I'm feeling that way too.

Lucky you, meeting our friend Tammie. I bet she is as amazing as she sounds (as I bet you are too!)

Happy belated anniversary! I hope your loverboy is home soon so that you can re-celebrate. ;-)

8:25 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I'm glad you're back, but so sorry for what you've been going through. I love this post, because it really tells a lot about you. You suffered a kind of loss in the last 3 weeks, but really you spoke more here of how sad you are that you can't be with your husband on your anniversary. That makes me feel good about your relationship and your priorities. Best wishes, Brooke.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Glad you're back, wish you weren't alone, am crossing my fingers for you re the IVF. There's nothing selfish about mourning a lost chance . . .nothing at all.

1:22 PM  
Blogger Rock said...

fBuck up Brooke Dude Chick - I mean really - get out of it.

Don't dwell. Sell.

Newman: He dreamed of being a ... "banker"

Kramer: "Ah yes I dreamed of being a banker - yes"

Jerry: "Mulva?"

Get on.

3:00 AM  
Blogger Di said...

Just try and think positive, it will happen ONE day.

4:43 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

So good to hear from you! Things will improve - how could they not??

Can people be too talkative?? Uh-oh.

11:14 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home