Because one can never have enough demi-glace in one's refrigerator

Well no need to make the Baked Bean Lasagna last night (thanks V-grrrl, but you're right, it sounded gross), since we did have some pasta and spaghetti sauce in the cupboard as it turned out. We even had some Veggie Crumbles in the freezer...so Spaghetti Bolognese! And I even had some frozen cinnamon roll dough to make for dessert!

From white trash to lap of luxury in one fell swoop.

But if I've said it once, I'll say it a million times, I love my Mom. Plus she never fails to crack me up (intentionally or not).

She called all in a tizzy 'cause we had no food...a mother's worst nightmare. But that's what I get for putting it in my blog I suppose. I also may have over-dramatized a bit as it turned out.

But she made me STOP WATCHING THE APPRENTICE (sacrilege!) and immediately follow her instructions.

"I feel just AWFUL that I'm not there to help you, so here, go to your computer and look up this site."

"OK."

(Mr. Blogger is yelling in the background..."You're missing the good parts! The Outback Steakhouse guy just totally chewed out Randall!". Plus the cinnamon rolls had just come out of the oven and I was right in the middle of icing them when Mom called and THOSE ROLLS SMELL REALLY GOOD! He is not helping.)

"Are you there? It's www.homebistro.com."

Mom always has to say to full "www" part to make sure it's correct.

"Yup. I got it."

"Order some meals from there and I'll give you my credit card number to pay. There's a lovely Wild Mushroom Ravioli with Marsala Wine Sauce you may like. Or MB might want the Grilled Ahi Tuna in Asian Demi-Glace. The Chocolate Sabayon Entremet sounds wonderful for dessert."

I have no idea what she just said.

"Um, Mom, that's awfully nice of you but I think we might be better off just buying groceries if you're offering."

Mom never did lack for a gourmet's taste though.

"Oh you're right, and it wouldn't get there for a few days, so I guess that's not helping. How about you order that for a New Year's Eve dinner or something? My treat."

"Well, we might go out, but thanks. I might take you up on that."

I feel kinda guilty.

"How can we buy you groceries? I need to do SOMETHING for you."

I'm already on Vons.com.

"I can see if it'll work with your credit card when I order, but I'm not sure. They may require it to be from the person ordering."

"Well, tell them that your mother is coming to visit and had paid for the groceries, expecting them to be there when she arrived."

Way to work the "MOM EXPECTS IT" angle there, Madre.

"You don't actually talk to anyone. It's all on-line. But I'll see."

"OK, well try it and call me back if you have any problems."

After a good hour of setting up an account and shopping aisle by aisle, we're done. It actually worked. Plus we got the first time shopper's $20 discount. I'm getting more excited by the minute.

I call her back because she's called twice in the time it's taken us to shop and she WANTS TO MAKE SURE.

"OK, it worked. Our order will be here between 4:00pm and 8:00pm tomorrow."

"They deliver?! How marvelous! I thought you had to go pick it up!"

"Nope. The beauty of on-line shopping."

"Oh I feel so much better! Well, keep my credit card number just in case you run into any emergencies again. But let me know first if you're going to use it."

"No Mom, I'm going to get right on neimanmarcus.com and start ordering things without your knowledge."

"Well, I know, but I just wanted you to know you could use it."

I, of course, won't.

"Thanks though Mom. Really."

"Anytime. I wish you had called and told me."

"It's fine. Just a sticky week. We'll be FINE."

"OK, I love you."

"I love you too."

"Now go to bed. Your cold sounds worse."