Friday, December 16, 2005

Watered down

Since everyone seems to be making confessions lately, here's my own odd and startling admission...

I HATE water. To drink, I mean. It's all Mom's fault since she hated it too. It literally made her gag.

But people can never understand this. What's to hate, they say? It doesn't taste like anything, they offer. You're insane and I cannot be friends with crazy people, they threaten.

Sorry folks. That's just the way it is.

Oh I've tried. BELIEVE ME. I drank gallons of Evian when I was anorexic. But I also drank it usually with a sugarless gum chaser and that made it seem somewhat flavored. It was more about trying to fit in with my fellow gym rats perhaps. I never did like to stand out in a crowd.

Then I used to drink lots of Crystal Light, to try to trick my body into thinking it was getting something healthy. But even that never lasted long. My addiction is carbonation and I NEEDED the Fresca calling my name (original Grapefruit flavor, thank you very much...not this newfangled Black Cherry or Peach crap).

But when we lived in London and I found out I was pregnant, I knew I had to get with the aqua-filled program. I was so determined to be healthy, that even I would give in to the need for hydration. And I found the trick!!

The UK had the greatest thing ever, which did NOT contain artificial sweeteners, and didn't just taste like water with the slightest hint of flavor. OK, it had a bit of sugar...but not much. I was desperate, people!

Volvic Touch of Fruit was my savior. I drank so much that we had to buy it by the case at Makro, which was kind of like Costco, but a little less overwhelming (would you believe the layout of the London Costco was EXACTLY the same as the one I went to/go to in San Diego?).

Of course, after I miscarried, I shouted at God through my mass consumption of Diet Dr. Pepper, but eventually I missed the watery goodness. Unfortunately, at that point we came back to the US.

Every time Mr. Blogger makes a trip to London though (which is every few months to see his kids), he brings me more six-packs of the elixir, weighing down his suitcase with an extra 10 lbs or so, but continuing his angelic, wife-supporting ways. But here's proof of the wackiness that is my superstitious mind....

I WILL NOT touch it until I get pregnant again. So we have tons of it just sitting on the shelves. I CANNOT be swayed.

(Plus I've now gotten hooked on Fruit 2 O, but that has Splenda, which I won't have in pregnancy. But at least for's water. You have no idea how impressive that is for me.)

I just noticed unfortunately, that a couple of the Touch of Fruit packs have a November '05 expiration date, which makes me sad and only further reminds me of the two other miscarriages and subsequent inability to make a Brooke or Mr. Blogger junior.

So what do I do? Dig in and partake of the reminder? Choke it down through tears over the breaking of my vow? Dump it in the sink 'cause it's not good anymore (I do have more that isn't expired)?

Am I being ridiculous? Of course. But when you're trying to get pregnant, you have no idea of the deals you'll make to yourself. And to whomever may be in charge.

Then again, maybe you do.


Blogger John said...

I say drink the November 2005. The always put the expiration date for stuff like that a month or so early. Seriously. Can water really go that bad? So drink it as ambrosia, and maybe it will work some magic...

11:09 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

I do. Good luck this month.

11:34 AM  
Blogger emily said...

wow. you're more fucked up than i thought. i can't believe i didn't catch onto it sooner!

DRINK DRINK DRINK! lest i start chanting the sorority beer pounding song. (yes, i know it and yes i am ashamed.)

12:16 PM  
Anonymous mom said...

I'm with John. It's probably more than a month early. I read it somewhere.

(Thanks for the email address. I had left out the 50.)

1:39 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

Water on its own is pretty nasty. I have declared my everlasting love for Poland Spring with Mandarin Orange or Lemon (deliciously carbonated).

I haven't tried the Fruit 2 0; is it anything like the clear, artifically sweetened sodas that are everywhere now? Becauset hose are awesome.

2:38 PM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

DRINK IT! Everybody's right about the expiry date being much earlier than it needs to be.

You're supposed to get healthy ready for getting pregnant! Didn't I keep telling you? ;-)

I must say I'm really not at all keen on plain water either, but I do drink loads of it if it's fizzy! We now get our own canister of carbon dioxide and a nozzle with which we fizz up our own - filtered - tap water! It's much cheaper!

Why not drink ordinary fizzy water with your own flavouring added, for example by putting a little fresh fruit juice in, instead of buying stuff with added sugar or - worse - ASPARTAME! Yeuch!

3:14 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

I love water, but I do think it has flavor.

Would it make you feel better to dump the water out? Or would it make you more sad? If you like it, you should probably drink it.

I am sorry to hear about your pregnancies.

3:16 PM  
Blogger Melanhead said...

Would it help to sip water from a martini glass?

5:45 PM  
Blogger sit-slake-stir said...

Water's the greatest drink in the whole entire world.

I say that only because, as you know, I have no way of grabbing some Dr Pepper next time I hit the shopping centre.

I say do whatever makes you happy. Throw the water out if you wish, or keep it if you want to defy your own mind.

Go with the flow, Brooke.

Doesn't matter how much water you do or don't drink, the key to being healthy is to be relaxed.

We both know it.

Crikey! Sometimes I amaze myself with advice.


10:50 PM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

I'm with Melanhead. I love the idea of the water in a champagne glass. Toast Mr. B and London and a fresh start in 2006.

Let the past go with the old calendar. Live in the moment. Invent your own ritual to release the miscarriages, disappointments and the old job and to celebrate all that's right in your life.

Never underestimate the power of a good ritual!

12:36 PM  

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