A little bribery is a good thing

OK, confession.

I've been up the entire night. Yup, never went to bed. I'm in my somewhat manic and anxiety-ridden phase again, although it is a bit exacerbated by some lingering physical pain and cramping. So I promise it isn't my usual slide into spazzville...I'll be better soon. (Really Mom and M-I-L. Honest.)

But what is especially wonderful is that I'm on this trip again, just in time to start my new job on Monday!

Monster energy drink six-packs...here I come!

But after watching lots and lots of bad movies on Lifetime Television for Women, I finally got on the computer and have at least caught up on everyone's blogs. Well, until you write something else later today, that is. Damn.

I am really worried about how I'll keep up with blogging when I get on with the new job. I imagine I'll run home, ditch the nylons and heels, and dash to the PC every evening! But I think it may be closer to...run home, ditch all my clothes and put on sweats and socks (all the better to impress my husband when he gets home) and try to keep the eyeballs propped open before surrendering to bed at some ridiculously early hour.

But I'll figure in the blog time in there somewhere.

It's just that I haven't worked since August and it may take a while to acclimate. This seems especially crazy to me though, since prior to this big fat mental health break, I was the most obsessed workaholic at all my jobs since college. I always want to be the best. I always HAVE to be the best.

But not anymore. Right now, I'd settle for being the best at being ok. I purposely picked a position with slightly less responsibility than my old Bank V.P. self (notice I said slightly...I do like to be in charge...some habits are hard to break).

I'm hoping I can learn and grow and do well, all within a reasonable frame of sane work hours. No more six day weeks and 12 hour days for me. I have at least finally learned that it isn't worth it. And that my body apparently agrees.

So here's Brooke's new guide for starting a new job (but don't hold me to it):

1. Get a decent amount of sleep when possible, but don't get mad at self for HAVING to watch Sex and the City every night at 11:00PM...hey, I can get to work in FIVE minutes, so you better believe I'll push the wake-up time

2. Bring lunch and snacks to work, thereby eliminating the "I never take a break or go to lunch and aren't you proud of me for such dedication!" excuse which only leads to binge city when getting home...Ben & Jerry's is not a healthy dinner

3. Realize that I'm not going to know it all, or be perfect at everything immediately...ok, if ever

4. GO HOME...there is no need to be there when everyone else has gone for the day...all that crap will still be there in the morning

5. And on that note and perhaps most importantly for me...

LEAVE WORK AT WORK

Do not obsess over what you could have done better. Do not worry about what the customer thinks of you because you wouldn't give in to his complaining over federal policies. Do not stress that because your boss was quiet all day, that must mean YOU caused it. If you can't sleep at night because you feel like such a failure, know that you're the only one who feels that way. So cut it out!

So I will try.

In the meantime, I think bringing a dozen Kripsy Kremes on my first day can't hurt. Although with my luck, the whole staff will be on a diet and will resent me. That's ALL I need.