Monday, May 15, 2006

Sick and tired

So here I sit, hacking up a lung, voice completely lost and sinuses blocked with what appears to be cement. I even called in sick to work.

But I knew it was coming.

I have ALWAYS gotten sick, broken a bone, had an accident, or caught some mysterious malady when I'm stressed. I've long ago accepted that I'm just that kind of person. You know the type.

But what makes me mad is being called a Drama Queen. I thought that was reserved for those who actually enjoy the attention. Kind of like Janice on The Sopranos. And I really can't stand her.

To the contrary, I HATE being that person. I HATE knowing that if someone at work is sick...I will be the one to catch it. If I fall down...I'll be the one who ends up in a cast and on crutches, while others just brush themselves off and get on with it. If anything can go wrong in a pregnancy...well, you get my drift.

And boy has it been stressful around here. Or around work, more specifically.

You see, without risking my place in that ever-tenuous ladder of success, I'll leave it at this:

The auditors came.

The auditors saw.

The auditors fired people.

And some others quit. In the end, those who weren't affected (which frankly, I feel AFFECTED as hell) were STILL stuck in Spanish Inquisition meetings all day. Let's just say that the end result was my now doing the job of THREE people.

It sucks. And if I knew a better word for "sucks" which would not involve pressing my swelling-with-congestion brain any further into action...I would use it. I'm just too damned tired.

But on the upside, Mr. Blogger made me grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup this weekend, even though I had no appetite and couldn't finish a meal (hey...there's another upside!). He plied me with juice even though I complained it burned my lips, which are raw from all the open-mouth breathing.

So yet again, I feel I shouldn't complain.

Do you ever feel like you somehow aren't allowed to have EVERY aspect of your life in order? That there's some kind of alarm that sounds on God's desk whenever you're TOO happy?

Like, you may have found the perfect mate, but good luck with the whole "making a baby with him" thing? Or you may have always been told you're smart and capable and a hard worker, but you can't help but feel like your career is just a big pile of time-wasting poo? Or you may be blessed with wonderful friends and family, but your health will always be in question?

Yeah. Me too.

In the meantime, please excuse me. I need to go blow my nose.


Anonymous mom said...

At last, a blogging! But I hate that you had to report illness. I want Mr. Blogger around when I'm ill. Take care and try to reduce the stress or at least your reaction to it.

Thanks again to you two for making me feel wonderful on Mother's Day!

5:31 PM  
Anonymous Becki said...

Yeah, life, especially as a mom, is like a Rubik's cube: get everything all lined up on one side and it gets all scrambled to hell on another.

I hope you're feeling better soon.

5:59 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

I think I love Becki's analogy. It's perfect.

I am sorry you keep having these frustrations... I am hoping that there will be a definite upswing for you soon, in all the things you are looking for (health, work, happiness, and family.)

Hugs to you. And a big virtual tumbler of OJ with extra vitamin C and calcium.

6:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooohhh... i think i like becki too.

9:11 PM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

I'm so sorry you're not well, but I'm glad you've had time to blog! Oh, that sounds so unsympathetic! :-( Sorry!

I'm glad Mr Blogger is looking after you. One thing which jumped out of your blog at me (well, you know what I'm like) was that he's giving you juice! And you're drinking it, in spite of the sore lips! YAY! Does this mean you're off the diet drinks? Of course, I know nothing I say could influenced you! Oh dear me no! >>;-> But Aspartame .... blah blah blah blah .... yes, there I go again! ;-P

Hope the work situation improves soon. If you cared less about it, and didn't feel that you must do the other 3 people's work, you wouldn't get so stressed out!

But then you wouldn't be you, huh? ;-) xxxx

5:40 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

I'm so sorry you're sick, Brooke! And I think "sucks" is the perfect word.


6:07 AM  
Blogger Amber said...

Hey, good to see you online, sorry it's in sucky circumstances. I'm sending non-stressful vibes your way. Smooch.

6:12 AM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Becki's Rubik's Cube analogy is perfect. I guess when things suck, we should just turn the cube's ugly side away so we can focus on the good side.

7:16 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Hey Brooke, I hope you're feeling better today. I can totally relate to you on this one. Hang in there.
And thank you so much for the E-card. You brought a smile to my face when I really needed one.

7:28 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

Get some of that Airborne stuff and drink it until you can't stand it anymore. It really does help your immune system. I know Shrinking Violet feels the same way. Her new job has her doing the work of two people (her new partner left for a better gig) and now she's in London on business. She also gets sick when everyone else does. I would never call you a Drama Queen. That's just wrong.

8:12 AM  
Blogger Rock said...

Wow, grilled cheese with tomato soup - that was my everyday lunch in fifth and sixt grade - yup I actually was able to walk home and have lunch and then go back to school in good old Westfield, NJ.

As for the incoimplete life and sucking and all - that's how it is for EVERYBODY. And even if others appear perfect there's always something missing. Know one has it all - except for Oprah.

10:53 AM  
Blogger Rock said...

Now maybe Johnny Drama.....

10:54 AM  
Anonymous M&Co. said...

Yeah for comfort food! And grilled cheese and soup is the ultimate comfort food,

1:19 PM  
Blogger mama_tulip said...

I'm sorry you're sick, Brooke. I hope you're feeling better soon.

6:31 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Poor Brookie! I hope you get to feeling better fast, then everything will look a little better. Well, maybe not the auditors but nobody likes them anyway.

I would never describe you as a Drama Queen either. Even though I haven't met you, you just don't sound like that kind of person. And, I knows me some Drama Queens. And, I do mean Drama Fuckin' Queens.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Mignon said...

I love Becki's analogy! And I love the fact that you escaped the wrath of the auditors unscathed and with your company finding you uber-capable. Feel proud of yourself for that, at least. Later, when you're feeling better, you'll think back about that grilled cheese and 'mater soup and think, "Awww, that was just too damn sweet...."

Hope you get well and under less stress soon! (Maybe a last minute vacation to B-list Blog-fest?)

9:47 PM  
Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

Whenever I worked at a mall or a restaurant, I always ended up with what I call 'mall cough'. The damned cold you all pass around in the recycled air. I'm so sorry you feel yucky. Keep drinking the juice and try to eat the meals MB is making. Feel better soon!

10:45 PM  
Blogger little sister said...

oh, no! poor Brooke! The same thing is going around here, but at least I'll be able to travel to Philly this weekend....bless Mr. B for making you the grilled cheese sammiches and tomato soup :)

I hope by the time I've posted this things are better.

and crack me up about the alarm clock on God's desk!! At least your sense of humour is intact ;)

te amo
lil sis

10:32 PM  
Blogger aka Brandi said...

Hola. Thinking of you.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Yes, you are right, I got the kids but not the hubby. And don't get me started on my boss....get better.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

Brooke, you must find a minute to blog! Pleeeeze? :-o

11:32 AM  

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