Monday, June 26, 2006

Be careful what you wish for...


Is anybody still out there reading?

I really should start this entry apologizing for my absence and telling you all how much I've missed you. And as much as both statements really are ENTIRELY appropriate, well, I have bigger fish to fry. Ugh. Fish. Frying.

You see...just the mere THOUGHT of a fish fry is going to send me running for the bathroom, for oh, about the fifty gazillionth time.

I'm pregnant.

As my step-dad likes to say...AGAIN.

Yup, preggo number five. (Wasn't that a song?) But let me start from the beginning, shall I? Hold on a sec though. I need a sip of ginger ale.

Nope, not helping.

It all started after miscarriage number four. Mr. Blogger and I decided the hell with this "just keep trying" bullshit and after meeting with fertility specialists and undergoing even MORE tests, we finally came to the decision to go through IVF.

We were supposed to do it in May, but our financing fell through. Then we were shooting for July. I began some meds, we started using condoms (VERY odd for people trying to get pregnant, but we did as we were told) and all was full speed ahead.

Until May 21, 2006. Yes, my little beanie, I know EXACTLY when you were conceived.

SOMEBODY forgot to use one that night. And SOMEBODY else had absolutely no idea where she was on her cycle, given that she was for once relieved of the obsessive record keeping. But well, what can you do. Oops. I mean really, what are the chances, right?

Actually, I KNOW the chances. I was watching a program on couples trying to conceive through IVF and one of the women was my age. She went through SIX rounds of IVF with no luck and then ended up using donor eggs. To quote the announcer, "The chances of Mrs. Infertile conceiving on her own at her age is FIVE PERCENT".

FIVE.

I'm sorry, did you say FIVE?

I immediately began to cry.

So when, a couple weeks later, we were heading off to a weekend trip to L.A., I started noticing I sure was having to use the bathroom an awful lot. (Ahhh the days when using the bathroom a lot only implied frequent urination...such times of innocence.) Hmmmm. And I was getting a bit of heartburn. Double hmmm.

Now, as I stated before, I've been through this part before. A second trimester? Nope, never. But I've at least had a few weeks of joy in my time.

I know the signs. And I had a funny feeling. So we picked up a First Response on the way up to my aunt and uncle's where we were staying for the weekend.

Saturday morning I bounded out of bed after the fourth time of getting up to go to the bathroom that night and decided to try. The line was really really faint. But it was there. Sunday morning, same thing. But a little darker.

I have now decided to trademark the name Most Fertile Infertile Woman on the Planet®.

The following week I had jury duty, and of course I was chosen. I even told them I was pregnant, hoping that would help me in some way, but nope. They apparently wanted someone who pushed past the elderly and infirm to get to the restroom when they finally called a break.

And in that time, I still had to make it to two blood tests to see if my beta levels were rising. They did. And that made me very happy.

But I know a thing or two about being happy at this point. It never lasts. Ok Mom and M-I-L, SORRY. It never lasted BEFORE.

But here's where the interesting turn of events takes place.

I have always enjoyed being pregnant. I've never been sick. EVER. At the most, I get heartburn and that's nothing a couple Tums won't fix. I'm usually just hungry and tired.

Well the pregnancy goddesses have decided to laugh in the face of the one who once wrote THIS. Just skip down to the last line if you like. Now you may laugh as well.

OH MY GOD have I been sick. All the pregnancy books list a litany of digestive issues you MAY experience while pregnant, and may I say, overachiever that I am, I've had 'em all!

I can't decide if the puking or the mind-numbingly painful constipation is more fun. Either way, it is AWFULLY hard to concentrate at work. (Oh my compadre in puke...I feel for you...I really do.)

And frankly, after the Weekend of Puking A Go-Go, that's why I'm home today.

My doctor ordered an early ultrasound for last Thursday so we could see what was happening at this particularly worrisome point in my pregnancies, and I was pretty excited about it until we got there. The screen was away from me, the tech didn't say a word and I was told to call my doctor for the results. What the hell?

Only today (yes, I had to wait FOUR FREAKIN' DAYS for the results) did they tell me the following, and I quote...

"Confirmed intrauterine pregnancy of 6 to 7 weeks."

No. Really. I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT YOU BIG DORKS!

The nurse said at a scan that early, that's all they're trying to establish. It's not ectopic and it's the correct size. I thought we'd see a heartbeat, which I know other women have at this point, so I'm now of course worried and PISSED. The nurse on the other hand, thinks everything is just hunky dory, given my beta numbers and now the scan.

EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, LADY.

The big day of the Big Ultrasound is July 6. I am so nervous, my knees are knocking already.

So today I am 7 weeks and 1 day, which is longer than it lasted last time, but not as long as others. That Big Ultrasound has been an arbiter of doom on many an occasion, so if I can just get through that with good news, well, that will be a first.

In the meantime, I tell myself that it's GOOD to be sick. And worry will get you nowhere.

One of these days, I may just believe it.

34 Comments:

Blogger Betty. said...

I'm not going to say anything. You know how I feel about jinxing plus... well, there was nothing in here I didn't know already. :)

Good luck!

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Steph V. said...

Awesome news, Brooke!! And thanks for responding to my email with "Read my blog!" instead of actually answering my question. Good one. =)

3:37 PM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

There's nothing I can say!

"Puking is good"? How can I say that? How mean, when you're feeling so bad!

"Good Luck"? I don't believe in 'luck'!

"Thinking of you"? You know that! All the time. Always.

All I can say is, I'm crying right now.

I'm hoping.

I'm waiting for July 6th.

I love you both.

xxxxxxxxxx

3:41 PM  
Blogger kiwi said...

I couldn't be happier for you right now. I really hope this is the one. You know how scared I was to tell you when I found out about Mina. I only hope for the best. Love from us both (Mina included).

3:46 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Harridan said...

I'm so glad to read this news after so long a break from your blog!

Not to be too cliched, but I have my fingers crossed for you. You've been through so much.

Keep us posted. :) Best to you and Mr. B.

4:40 PM  
Blogger #1 Dancer said...

OMG!!!!!! (Where are the ultra bold and enlarged font buttons on this damn html!?!?!)
That's soooo great!! And you're so sick!!! I'm sorry I'm so happy that you're so sick!!!!!!!
(I was wondering where you'd been...)
Crossing fingers/legs/eyes/everything else I can think of. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but puking is fun when it's shared with a blogger-friend!

Oh, and my next u/s is ALSO July 6th, so I hope there are two wonderful posts that day. I will be thinking of you all day!

4:53 PM  
Anonymous kate said...

HOLY SHIT!

I am keeping my fingers, legs and eyes crossed for you.

-K

5:17 PM  
Blogger Shana said...

Oh my gosh! Good reason to be sick (though that doesn't help the actual sickness, I know...). Hope the time til the next ultrasound passes extra quickly with just the *right* amount of nausea -- enough to be reassuring, but not enough to be debilitating.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Welcome back. I am literally praying for you.

7:03 PM  
Blogger aka Brandi said...

Yay! You can ignore that cryptic email from earlier...

So, SO praying and crossing apendages.

7:37 PM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

Everything is crossed for you. Everything.

8:02 PM  
Anonymous Nancy said...

I'm not a praying kind of person, but I'm saying an extra special one for you now. If that doesn't get some attention, I don't know what will.

And just in case, I've got everything crossed just like Mama Tulip.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Rock said...

Well, all I have to say is you one potent dude there..

8:35 PM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Brooke!! Welcome back! I'm so glad you've posted again. I join everyone else in the good thoughts and prayers. Can't wait for the update!! I'm marking my calendar and crossing every appendage!!

8:45 PM  
Anonymous MB said...

Fantastic news, Brooke!! Hope the puking is a sign of great things to come.....wishing you the best!

8:52 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Welcome back Brooke! I'll be thinking of you and praying.

8:54 PM  
Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

Yeah! Yippee! Whoopie!! I'm so pleased for you both. I've got you on the prayer list and am crossing everything I can still get crossed. I await the 6th with bated breath.

9:32 PM  
Blogger Athena714 said...

Congratulations, Brooke! That is awesome, awesome news. I wish you the best :)

Miranda

10:25 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Heyyyyy I missed you! That's awesome news. Have fun puking haha. ;)

7:46 AM  
Blogger wordgirl said...

From what I hear...sick is good, too. It means the baby is planted deeply enough to impact YOUR body for a change. Keeping everything crossed for you.

9:04 AM  
Blogger Tink said...

Brooke! I didn't know if you were ever coming back to us. Omgomgomg about the news. Good luck girl! I'm praying for you.

11:33 AM  
Blogger The Queen Mama said...

What wonderful news! And your big ultrasound day is the same as my birthday. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and your little bean.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Mom said...

Since the family story of my pregnancy concerns the twenty-four-hours-a-day-nine-months-long morning sickness which produced Brooke, I think the puking is a good sign.

And, since there's no need to think negatively, I won't. However, I do pray.

Take it one day at a time.

Love, hugs and kisses.

8:25 PM  
Blogger G/\R*E said...

Hey Brooke, great news. I don't think I want to say anytning else either. Take care and good luck with everything. Talk to you soon.

G

6:53 PM  
Anonymous kona girl said...

WHOO HOO!!!!!!! love you both SOOO much and sooo excited for little bun in the oven.... am crossing everything i've got!

HHC and i can't wait to see you this weekend to hug and kiss you in person...by the way, puking your lights out usually gets the GIRL and my favorite color is PINK!!!!!!

much love and much aloha, XOXOX

4:32 PM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

Just read your blog again, and noticed something I missed before! You refer to your little 'Beanie'. Did you know it was Mr Blogger's nick-name when he was a baby? :-o

Oh, he's gonna kill me for this! I just told the entire internet his baby-name! ;-D

12:17 AM  
Blogger sit-slake-stir said...

Arnold, no jinxing or wishing of the luck... just thoughts of sincerity and smileyness. :)

Thinking of you both.

Heart you, Arnold. Heart you.

Lissa.

8:05 AM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

All the best, Brooke.

I'm praying for you.

6:05 AM  
Blogger Di said...

YEAH, OH YEah, This is going to happen, I can feel it!

2:45 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Oh Brooke!! I am so happy. Keeping all fingers and toes crossed here. Puking is a good sign. I puked like crazy with all three of my boys!

6:46 PM  
Blogger Delaleuverses said...

Congrats on your pregnancy!

10:22 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Oh my GOD! You brat!!!! I had no idea you were so good at keeping secrets. Holy shit, I'm so happy for you and Mr. Blogger. Awesome, awesome news. I hope you're feeling a little better.

5:56 AM  
Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Hi! I'm glad I came back and checked on you. GLad to hear this news, and will be praying for you.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

Hi! I'm new here, but just wanted to wish you all the very best on this pregnancy. As someone who is on her third pregnancy with no living children (lost a full term baby and then miscarried and now pregnancy again), my heart is just pounding at the joy and nervousness you must be going through with this pregnancy after everything you have been through. My thoughts are with you.

ps. thank goodness for new technolgy like the nuchal scans eh? Spares us momma's to be the risk of invasive procedures.

11:20 AM  

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