Wednesday, December 13, 2006

To think everything was going so swimmingly up 'til now...ha!

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Oh COME ON! I just wrote a whole freaking post and it's gone! My right hand brushed by something and it's just kablooey!

That's what I get for typing this on Mr. Blogger's new laptop that I still don't quite have the hang of...I'M SO MAD! (Or maybe that's the curse for my yelling at him for spending the money on this laptop to begin with WHEN WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A CRIB! Quite the WWIII we had going over that one...)

You know how it is when that happens though, and how you don't even want to bother re-typing everything. So I'm TRYING to not say screw it here and start over. OK, deep breath...

Well, basically I'm still here and still going, but it is HARD lately. This has been one interesting pregnancy, to be kind and not give my child a complex. And in the last month alone, it's all gone haywire.

A laundry list...

*I'm on bed rest and off work for good now.

*I have the beginning signs of preeclampsia, although I don't quite have it as of yet. I've been to the hospital three times in the last 5 days and as of Friday, the doctor even said that it was a strong possibility this kid could be out within the week.

*I AM ONLY 31 1/2 WEEKS PREGNANT. I don't want her going anywhere yet.

*The good thing is that at last night's hospital stay, the labs were a little better, so we may get her to stick yet.

*The Hyperemesis came roaring back. Just yesterday I was quite convinced that I should perhaps find a way of getting my bed to just fit in the bathroom since it was becoming too much trouble to go back and forth so much.

*My blood pressure went up, but is somewhat stable. Well, today it was anyway. I have to chart it with my cuff at home to make sure.

*I am on nighttime injections of insulin since the Gestational Diabetes is worse. I also chart the blood sugar levels a few times a day. Hell, I chart EVERYTHING these days. I have to come armed with reams of paper to each doctor's appointment.

*I have sciatica down the back of my left leg/butt cheek and can't walk. Like, at all.

*I have had horrific stomach pains which led to the determination that my liver enzymes are high and apparently I have some kind of "fatty liver disease". That did wonders for my self esteem.

*I'm 6 lbs UNDER my pre-pregnancy weight. But as one of my doctor's so lovingly stated, eh, I have weight to lose anyway.

*I've been given shots of steroids to strengthen the baby's lungs in the event that we do have to deliver much earlier than planned.

*I spent this weekend giving TWO showers (one in SD and one in LA) and barely made it out of two hospital stays to make it to both. And I had to look like an idiot greeting everyone from a seated position...I looked like the freakin' queen receiving her subjects or something.

*Two separate doctors at different locations each referred to me as a "ticking time bomb". Thanks guys.

I'm sure I'll think of more, but I haven't slept all night, it's 5:00AM, and I'm tired. But what else is new?

You know...I was well aware of the fact that I was old, high risk, etc. But all of this keeps making me ask "where are these women who just fly through pregnancy...loving every ice-cream eating minute of it?"

And should I feel bad that I'm getting REALLY tired of feeling like crap, and more importantly being TERRIFIED on a regular basis? How does anyone make it through this...am I just a wimp?

I don't have ANYTHING done by way of setting up a nursery or pre-washing clothes or packing a bag. Yes, even though they've told me it may be imminent. I can't even muster the energy. Where is that supposed nesting instinct that the pregnancy books keep telling me I'll be getting? (I should mention that when the instructor brought that up in our birthing class, Mr. Blogger just laughed.)

In the end, all I want is for everything to be ok...is for Keira to be ok. (Yup, that's the final choice of a very controversial decision making process on a name for Ms. Bean...still no middle name yet.) All my monitoring has at least shown that if nothing else, she seems to be thriving in there. And I've always said that I'll take anything, go through anything to make sure she's fine.

So be careful what you agree to. You may have to prove it.

18 Comments:

Blogger V said...

Good lord! Did you ever consider posting that on a birth control site??? Forget terrible two's....you may just have to go through THIS type of pregnancy! Eeeck! I'm glad to hear you are uh....relatively ok...and Keira (Nice name choice!) too! She'll be ok if she comes early....I know you don't want her to, but she just may want to see mommy a bit earlier than you planned. Then you can turn all your montoring to all her in's and out's! :) You've had a lot of practice it seems! It's good to hear from you....I was just wondering a couple of days ago how things were....

6:23 AM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

Wow! You blogged! Even if it was at 5.00 am ;-D

Hang on and keep well. Thinking of you every day - several times a day! Hell, ALL day!!!!

We can't get out there til mid-January now, so Keira mustn't arrive too soon! Granmad says NO!

7:52 AM  
Anonymous TB said...

Oh Brooke, hang on girl, it's just a few more weeks.
If Kiera is born early, she will get the best care possible and these days, babies born at 32 weeks grow into healthy, normal children. Every day that goes by is another good day for you and her. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

PS - Kiera is a lovely name.

8:13 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Brooke!! I'm so glad you blogged! I was just here yesterday wondering how you were doing.

I've got you, Mr. B and Keira in my thoughts/prayers. Glad to hear things are progressing but sorry they are such a pain in the bum!

8:16 AM  
Blogger Mamalujo said...

I am so glad to "hear" from you. Continued best wishes, and I'm glad I checked in.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Mignon said...

Keir is a beautiful name. And you are a beautiful strong woman for getting this far with your sanity and sense of humor. Well done, Brooke. I'm rooting for you and baby K!

11:39 AM  
Blogger Arabella said...

Welcome back; I've missed your posts.

Whoa! I'm really, really sorry about all the negative stuff, but so happy to hear that Keira seems to be doing well! That really is a beautiful name. And you are totally in the home stretch. And she is going to adore you.

3:09 PM  
Blogger Betty. said...

umm... Kristy from Temecula is flying through her pregnancy so far all pretty and glowing and sick-no-more. 6.5 months or something.

Heh.

It was a lovely shower, my queen. We'll have to have some sort of royal debut/viewing when the little one joins us.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous wordgirl said...

I have the utmost faith that things will happen the way they will and everything will be just fine. You've made enormous personal sacrifice to bring this little one safely to the planet and all I can say is that the other sacrifices (and they'll be legion) you'll continue to make as Keira grows will be no big shakes for an old pro like you! I'd be stir crazy by now. You're a champ, Brooke. Just a little bit longer...

5:54 PM  
Anonymous Grandmamacita said...

I don't know how you've managed. I was exhausted from just watching you.

My bags are packed in anticipation of a quick move. Patches has her tranquilizers ready for the long drive.

Keira is already having her name spelled incorrectly.

Love, hugs and kisses, as always!

11:47 PM  
Anonymous M-I-L said...

"Keira is already having her name spelled incorrectly"! I love your Mom! ;-D

Haven't people in the US heard of Keira Knightley, the English actress? The name Keira is apparently creeping up the 'Top 100 Names' list, so I don't think she'll have so many problems by the time she gets to school.

Oh, but wait! If you 'google' Keira Knightley you'll see that apparently she sometimes gets her name spelled incorrectly! Oops!

Oh, and we've booked our flights! Woohoo! :-D

3:03 AM  
Anonymous mamatulip said...

YAY! A post from YOU! You haven't been far from my thoughts, yet I totally understand why you're not able to blog regularly. You poor thing...sounds like you've been through the wringer with this pregnancy.

I love the name and I hope that she sticks around for a few weeks more. GOOD LUCK!!

xoxo

1:23 PM  
Blogger aka Brandi said...

Hi! I've been thinking about you too - thank you for letting us know how it's going (which I couldn't have imagined in the least!). Take care of yourself and Baby Keira, and remember... this too, shall pass (and before you know it, you'll be celebrating her 18th BD, wondering where all the time went). Hugs!

10:26 AM  
Blogger Nina said...

Hang in there! I can vouch for three unruly, daunting, hectic pregnancies. It all turns out okay in the end, then you "forget" about how terrible it all was when you see that precious face. And when she first smiles at you, the whole world melts.

If it makes you feel better at all...I know a woman who had her baby way earlier than 31 weeks. He was transparent because his skin had not even developed all the way! Today, several months later, he is fine. Perfectly fine. And boy, was it rough in the beginning. So, you have a leg up on the preemie issue. Many women have their babies early. Just say your prayers and we will, too.
Keira - give mommy a break and just hibernate for a few weeks! It's cold outside anyway - you'll hate it.

4:51 AM  
Blogger Annie, The Evil Queen said...

I'm so glad to see you surface! I'm so sorry you are still battling your way through your pregnancy. I'm praying this all means your delivery will be completely uneventful.

It sounds like Keira is healthy and strong in there. I hope she decides to hang around in there a bit longer. Just remember you can use all of these trials as ammunition when she's 15.

I didn't really have a bag packed either. And I only went a week early. Grandparents are ideal baby room setter-uppers.

7:22 PM  
Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Hang in there - both of you! We are all pulling for you and this pregnancy reach near term and go easy on the two of you. Mr. Half too.

Take care!

3:17 PM  
Anonymous V-Grrrl said...

Good grief Brooke. There are better ways to achieve fame than being known as Woman with the Most Difficult and Complicated Pregnancy Ever. You'll have to shoot for Mother of the Cutest Girly in SoCal instead.

After a completely unremarkable pregnancy, my son was born at 33 weeks. Weighed over 5 pounds and was spared any major complications. We just had to wait for him to be able to nurse before we could go home. He spent 10 days in the hospital but was fine.

So I trust that since nothing new has been posted you're still carrying Miss Keira. Hang in there! After a pregnancy like this, parenting will seem like a piece of cake.

8:17 AM  
Anonymous Chelle P. said...

I've been checking in periodically and I'm so glad you're...er...alive. I can't even say you're okay, can I? Poor thing.

Please give us another update soon, won't you?

If not, please at least let us know when Keira arrives? (great name!!)

8:32 PM  

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