Two months old

Well, Mommy is a bad mommy and didn't blog when Keira hit the one month mark, but in my defense, there's no such thing as February 30th so she didn't have one. Yup. I use any and all excuses for my negligent behavior already.


I realized that I never really wrote anything resembling a "birth story", but I have to say that after all the ups and downs of a highly "eventful" pregnancy, the birth itself was a breeze. Hey, I had to catch a break somewhere.

My doctors had basically realized that I had HAD IT (no, really...every single day towards the end there I was threatening to cut the kid out myself) and I got a huge surprise phone call from the hospital saying that I was scheduled for a c-section on January 30. I hobbled on over to the guest room (wish I could say I ran, but that was not possible) to tell my Mom the good news and then of course panic set in.

Mom had been here since January 11th and it was now the 24th, and in that time, she was shocked to be there in person to witness just how bad off I was. I couldn't eat, walk, sleep...you know, little things like that. I think Mr. Blogger was just relieved to have some help in retrieving things for me. God help that man.

The next day MB's parents arrived from London and it was Operation Get Ready For Baby full speed ahead. There was still so much to do, buy, prepare, arrange...I was freaking out over not even owning a robe, for criminy's sake.

By the time the 30th arrived, I actually felt ok. I wasn't panicked about the surgery at all, I was more thrilled to finally be starting this new life. OK, and to NOT BE PREGNANT ANY MORE. I felt very calm and in good hands. The only hitch really was that the spinal took about thirty attempts and the anesthesiologist was starting to panic, but I just kept breathing. Pain was nothing at this point.

I did almost pass out from my blood pressure plummeting apparently, but hey, what can you do?

MB was finally allowed into the OR once the spinal took effect and had the camera at the ready. It went so fast and I'm so thankful for the anesthesiologist telling us what was happening so that I knew when she was out. Then, of course, you find yourself counting the seconds until she cries. Come on little baby. Make a sound.

Didn't take long. No...not any child of mine.

I couldn't see anything, but I kept hearing everyone saying, "She's beautiful!". Then I got to see for myself...

I agreed. And I was immediately in love and ridiculously protective.

I could bore you with the pain in the ass that healing from the c-section plus trying to breastfeed turned out to be (I think I may FINALLY have the hang of it and it's only been two months), but does it really matter? She's doing fine, finally growing well and is the absolute center of our lives.

Now, when I go back to work in a month, I may lose my mind. I seriously burst into tears every time I think about it. I mean, how can you leave this?

I don't even want to think about it.