Friday, June 08, 2007

Four months or...what a difference a month makes

While my car windshield is being replaced (went to a friend's house yesterday, had a visit, said goodbye and got back in car to find entire windshield shattered...yeah, these things only happen to me and you know it) and Mom is sleeping with Keira, I thought I'd take a not-easily-found moment to catch up.

K is fantastic and at her four-month-old visit to the doctor she weighed a whopping 13 lbs (double her birth weight). My once skinny mini is now chunky monkey. And I love it. Daddy does too.

She would, however, like you to see what those horrible nurses did.

Disco ball AND Taz band-aids notwithstanding, she made it through the tears, and two day fever and oh who am I kidding...MOMMY made it through the tears and two day fever.

But may I say, holy crap. Nothing like everything in your world turning upside down. Ok, ALMOST everything. NO not Keira this time. Moi.

I have become a stay at home Mom. For now anyway...or as long as we can possibly afford to keep it up. But lest ye give me any kudos for making such a big decision, wait 'til you hear how it was simply, or not so simply made for me.

After getting myself completely psyched up to daily leave the ever-so-smushy-cheeked-love-of-my-life (the kid, not the hubs...his cheeks aren't at all smushy), I returned to the bank crap...yes, its official name.

Ah, but wait, I'm getting ahead of myself already.

The Friday prior to my return, I got a phone call from my boss' boss...a senior senior VP. She wanted me to come see her first thing Monday morning to go over some changes that had occurred in the six months I was off. This wasn't entirely strange in that the bank had been bought out in that time (yes, this happens at every stinkin' place I end up working for) and it was actually a completely different bank.

But my antennae were up nonetheless. It seemed a little odd and I joked with Mr. Blogger, watch, I have a job, but it's in San Ysidro. (That's very very far, for those of you not in the know.)

Uh huh. Cut to the chase. That's just about what happened.

Not only had they rehired someone in my position, which had been at a branch two miles from my house, but they offered to let me "train" at another branch THIRTY miles away. And after such "training", they really weren't entirely sure where I'd be or what I'd be doing.

So I asked if they'd pay my mileage to the training branch at least. I believe my exact words were, "Look. I just had a baby. There's no such thing as disposable income anymore." Come on. A SIXTY mile round trip as opposed to FOUR. And not to sound like my cranky 80-year-old neighbors, but have you SEEN the gas prices as of late???

But what mattered more than any of that was the fact that I had always planned to come home (or to daycare in July) every lunch hour to feed and bond with Miss K and had purposely laid out my life in a five mile radius. Now that would be impossible.

She is not happy about that.

At ten past 5:00 in the evening I got my answer. This time a senior senior SENIOR VP called me (how painfully obvious does it have to be that no one wants to deal with such a fiery upstart).

She stated that no, they would not pay my mileage. And when I dared to ask why no one had perhaps thought to tell me all of this oh, say, BEFORE I RETURNED TO WORK, she said other really rude stuff too, but I am SO OVER IT, I can't even be bothered to bitch about her rant anymore. The writing on the wall couldn't have been clearer if it had been done in florescent paint.

No one gave a shit about me. So I had to give a shit about myself...

Buh-bye. Finito. I quit-o.

I tried working part time at a baby store that I absolutely loved, and except for the fact that my feet were aching in such a way that had not been felt in the twenty some years it had been since I worked retail, I really enjoyed the job. It was something entirely different and I am just so burned out on banking, it was just not in my heart to go to another financial institution.

But then you find that part time retail pays just about enough to pay daycare. And now Mom, who is here visiting to take care of the baby as you recall, is going to need surgery. And, well Mom, I say this COMPLETELY understanding your limitations, but she's just not as much help these days and I have officially become a hausfrau.

So guess who is going to need to take care of both of them? Circle of life and all that, I suppose.

Frankly, even as much as I am SO SICK of washing bottles, I love every minute of being at home. I don't kid myself that this couldn't all come to an end in a matter of months when we run out of money, but it's still something I am enjoying immensely while I can. We've even talked about moving in order to keep it up, so we'll see.

I get to see all the massive drooling and smiles that I wasn't wanting to give up in the first place.

And boy is she quite the rolling-over pro these days. Actually, she has asked if she should maintain her amateur status, seeing as how surely there is an Olympic event for such a magnificent feat.

But to stave off the temptation to just sit around all day, play on the floor with Keira and never wash my hair, I have actually joined some playgroups and even made plans to get together with friends who are stay-at-homers as well. I love meeting with other women who can both offer tips and just plain old commiserate.

Hopefully not all of them will have random flying objects aiming for my windshield in their neighborhoods though.